Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No Comment...

Sometimes I read some news stories and I'm literally lost for words, here are a few of such news stories;

The birthday that never was
Yar'Adua's Birthday Confusion - State Govts Blew Over N35m

"Over N35 million taxpayers' money was spent by state governors, ministers and lawmakers sponsoring advert messages congratulating President Umaru Musa Yar'adua on his 57th birthday in national dailies, only to discover that the president was not born on July 9, as the over 100 coloured paged messages implied."

The Lord Works in Mysterious ways : - )
'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians
"Diners have been flocking to a restaurant in northern Nigeria to see pieces of meat which the owner says are inscribed with the name of Allah."
and in other parts of the world
Message from Allah 'in tomato'
Tropical fish 'has Allah marking'
India marvels at 'miracle chapati'

methinks this one is definitely worthy of an end of year award (for "Foot in mouth")
Obasanjo - Leave Electricity Problem to God
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has said Nigerians should take their electricity problem to God, adding that they should take to God anything they do not have which they wished to have or cannot get.

419 Version 2.0
419ers crank up the menaces
"Your friend has paid us to kill you..."

So what have you been doing in America?

Now you can find out what some of our citizens have been up to stateside.

A search using a variation of popular Nigerian names produces very interesting results, i don't think Iyabo Obasanjo will be doing much driving next time she visits the US : - )

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Tale of Two Stories

The Event: 17 people die in "mysterious" circumstances in a local community in Abia state.

The Nollywood Version as reported by the Nigerian Tribune and This day

The Nigerian Tribune reports that "about 40 members of the Deeper Life Church in a community in Abia State died mysteriously at the weekend shortly after a family deliverance prayer session."

The paper reports that "A source said that immediately after the prayer session, a mighty wind took over the newly-built house which lifted the people there gathered and tossed them around the building.
The source further said that the pandemonium which resulted made them to collapse against another."

The paper adds "That the remains of the dead were infested with maggots while the whole area was taken over by a foul odour.
More than 20 persons were said to have lost their lives there and then, while about three people were said to be critically ill and are now at a private hospital where they are receiving treatment."

The Real Version as reported by Reuters

"At least 17 people died at a prayer meeting in rural Nigeria after apparently breathing noxious fumes from their power generator while asleep, police and witnesses said on Wednesday.
The victims fell asleep on Saturday in a locked room with the generator still running, police said. Their bodies were discovered and the incident reported on Tuesday.

"We are still investigating the cause of the deaths. But a power generating set was found in the hall where they slept, so we are not ruling out suffocation through carbon monoxide inhalation," police spokesman Ali Okechukwu said.

Though Nigerians are very religious, many are highly superstitious and hold strong beliefs in voodoo, ghosts and witchcraft. One survivor, Linus Abba, said the victims were attacked by the evil spirits they were trying to exorcise.

NTA now showing on Sky

I'm sure it was planned to coincide with Yardy's visit to the UK, NTA international is now showing on Sky Digital (channel 213), for those who enjoy government propaganda and the other stuff NTA is well known for...

Yardy meets Gordy

Outside Downing Street (july 16)

Monday, July 14, 2008


The supposedly "ironic" edition of The New Yorker

First it was Jesse Jackson threatening to cut off Obama's nuts courtesy of a 'mic malfunction' at Fox news (What was Jesse doing on Fox news in the first place??, it’s kind of like George W Bush going on BET), and now The New Yorker (a supposedly liberal rag) is depicting Obama and his wife as "terrorists" in the White House.
According to the magazine's editor, David Remnick, the image "holds up a mirror" to the absurd and often malicious rumours that have stuck to his [Obama's] campaign. And he believes his readers are intelligent enough to get the joke.

Really, i don't see any other magazine portraying McCain as an Old geriatric fool, because i suppose it would be seen as extremely offensive to OAPs, but i guess we black people just can't take a joke abi??

Our dear old presido, Yawn’Adua hits our shores this week.
Now this is an open appeal to the 'slow' one, just in case you meet 'Iya Charlie' abeg do not embarrass us like you did when you met Bush last year.

Oh and one more thing since Gordon Brown will be discussing the high price of oil and offering British assistance in dealing with the Niger delta issue, I suggest you too offer Naija's assistance in dealing with the recent spate of stabbings in the UK's major cities. You could offer to send our 'Kill n Go' (Our psychotic men in black) to teach the bobbies here how to deal with all these small pikins carrying knives around as if they are selling suya.
Another sad Oil song...

They haven't extracted the oil yet but the twin islands of São Tomé and Príncipe are already in big trouble. (And of course Naijas are already there to give them a helping hand)

'The best thing that could happen to the country is if no oil is found'
Bribery, bullying and bad deals shatter Sao Tome's dreams of petroleum boom