ijebuman's diary

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Characteristics of a naija politician 

sElection 2007 (4 days(state)/11 days(federal) to go)
a blog entry on the Nigerian elections in April 2007.

Politicus Naijarius

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
- Nikita Khrushchev

Creepy, crawly, slimy, lying, thieving bastard are just a few of the words used by many to describe this creature.

Character: chameleon like in nature, this creature is well known for its ability to quickly change sides, political party or affiliation to suit any dispensation. Highly skilled in the art of deception, this creature can not be trusted.

Diet and habits: Usually unfit with a thick neck and pot belly, this creature enjoys the high life. Can become extremely volatile during elections and will resort to a tactic called rigging to ensure its survival.

Habitat and Range: Can be found in large abundance in the political entity called Nigeria. Large numbers can be found in the capital city called Abuja.

Senses: Deaf, Dumb and Blind to everything except its own bullshit

Intelligence: The mental capacity of the naija politician is still being explored, but going by anecdotal evidence the average naija politician has the IQ of a ten year old child.

Personality: This creature is title hungry and loves to be addressed as "Chief", "Alhaji", "Dr", "Prof", "Engnr", "Pastor" etc

Adaptation: Has adapted extremely well to the Nigerian political environment

Reproduction: Extremely fertile with many partners and offspring.

Impact: Extremely bad for its environment as it consumes all economic resources available. This creature sees public office as a means for amassing wealth.

Status: Sadly this creature is not an endangered species...

posted by ijebuman  # 6:13 pm
LOL!! A critique of naija politicians.
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