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ijebuman's diary

The online raves and rants of an Ijebu man in London
 
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Denial of denial 

I had nothing better to do today so i watched Yar'Adua's inauguration ceremony on Ben TV (it was either that or the usual trash on daytime tv) .
After the ceremony, the station cut back to a studio panel, i don't know what i was expecting but i was really disappointed with the stuff i heard, the discussion, the phone calls, everything was all about us moving forward and everyone hoping that Yar'adua will sort everything out, oh and everyone made a point of reminding us that this was naija's first successful hand over of power from one civilian govt to the other as if that changed the facts about the elections.

There was a bit of a faux pas from BEN TV's Alistair Soyode (who is also the owner of the station) who got slightly carried away and described today as "Nigeria's 47th independence anniversary as well as Yar'adua's inauguration".
Not that anyone noticed with all the high-fiving and backslapping going on in the studio.
but i digress..
what really got me was that some people even defended the whole electoral process that threw up Yar’Adua, by using Obj's lame excuse that our nation is still young and we shouldn't compare ourselves to western countries.
I agree we shouldn't compare ourselves to western countries as they've obviously had many years of practice but whom should we compare ourselves to? We could start with Ghana or if that’s too far away how about Rep of Benin, which had similar elections last year, an election regarded as free and fair. (Rep of Benin also got its independence in 1960)

Like a friend jokingly said, we Nigerians suffer from 'denial of denial', according to wikipedia it's a process that involves thoughts, actions and behaviours which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behaviour. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion..

meanwhile sorry for the break in transmission it was due to an anomaly in the space time continuum, Please stay tuned as we now return you to our normal 'state of denial' where Nigeria is the giant of Africa and the happiest country on earth..
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Almost forgot about this, courtesy of Solomonsydelle:

The Nigerian Proclamation

In recent history, Nigerians have been overwhelmingly betrayed by those charged with addressing their needs. Instead of serving the people, public servants have served themselves to the detriment of the masses. The result is a nation lacking adequate infrastructure, organisation and security.

The ineffectiveness of Nigerian leaders indicates a lack of accountability to their constituents. Nigerians are no longer relevant to their leaders, thus, leaders do not feel responsible to them.

From this day, all Nigerians are responsible for the future of this great & powerful country. Consequently, all Nigerians must commit themselves to the following:

1. We must demand that elected officials be held accountable for their actions and in-actions.

2. We must expect democratic principles to be honoured, respected and maintained.

3. We must believe that all Nigerians are equal under the law and should be treated as such.

4. We must apply ourselves to improving the lot of every individual Nigerian regardless of gender, religion, tribe or social status.

5. We must strive to maintain a united republic despite our differences.

Only upon achieving these principles can we as a people fully live up to our potential as a land of greatness. For ours is a country renowned for its illustrious people, ample resources and sheer physical beauty.

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posted by ijebuman  # 11:28 pm (7) comments

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A petty, quarrelsome and insecure old man 







"a petty, quarrelsome and insecure old man presiding over the affairs of a complex entity as Nigeria."
Abubakar Atiku (in response to Obj's accusations)


Now i've always said Naija politics creates strange bedfellows, who would have thought i'll be using a quote from Atiku as a blog header lol.

I have to give it to Atiku he definitely knows how to defend himself in a 'rofo rofo' (dirty) fight. Don't get me wrong i'm no fan of the vice president, but if there was an award for bravery in the face of repeated 'assaults' i'll give it to him [i'll also give him the award for corruption and the award for turncoat and betrayal, but thats not the point here, is it? : - )]

Obasanjo kicked off the latest round of fighting by accusing Atiku of employing 'jazz' against him, i can't really be bothered quoting obj here as it's really pathetic (see newsreport). I don't know if anyone has noticed how regularly obj uses sentences like 'a fight to finish' or 'do or die', i suppose once a military man always a military man
but i digress
Atiku quickly responded describing obj as a psychotic bastard (ok my interpretation lol)
who needs nollywood when we can enjoy reality TV from Aso rock

At this stage i doubt if there is anyone who is shocked or embarrassed about this current episode of 'washing your dirty linen in public'. In most countries it would be a national embarrassment for the president and his vice president to trade filthy insults in public, but this is naija where the concept of national embarrassment is as alien as organising a free and fair election.


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posted by ijebuman  # 1:15 pm (9) comments

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Naija DemoCrazy for 'Dummies' 














A friend wanted to know about naija's democracy, so i've decided to do a dummies style
tongue-in-cheek explanation of democracy naija style.

According to the 1999 constitution (
which is sometimes used as a "guide" and is probably used as a door stopper in the presidential villa) Nigeria is a "democracy" and operates a presidential system of government where there's a true separation of powers (i.e Executive, Legislature and the Judiciary)

The Executive
Since the constitution is just a guide, the president doesn't bother reading it and regards himself as the all knowing leader. In naija's
DemoCrazy, the president is next to 'God' and the exercise of his power is seen as "God's will".
Anyone challenging his authority is regarded as an enemy of the state.

The Legislature
This arm of government spends most of its time sharing out 'Ghana must go bags' (i.e large bags of money) which is sent by the executive to ensure the legislature rubber stamps all laws. It also ensures the legislature doesn't get any funny ideas (like debating and enacting laws or starting impeachment proceedings)

The Judiciary
This arm of government is always ignored as it tends to take the 1999 constitution seriously.

The Opposition
in politics the opposition is usually an organised political group that serves to offer opposing views to the government. In the naija context, they are regarded as 'enemies of the state' made up of 'disgruntled elements', 'frustrated' politicians, unpaid contractors, ex government officials and anybody who has a bad word to say about the president.

Elections
Naijas don't elect their politicians directly. Instead, the ruling party 'selects' them.
Voter turnout tends to be low but the ruling party always manages to win by a landslide with a result that reflects 100% voter turnout.

for constitutional terms click here

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Breaking the law
Not only are naija politicians bad losers they are also bad winners.
Check out the whole charade going on in Lagos state, three weeks to the end of his term Tinubu has decided to get rid of his deputy - Femi Pedro (who has now resigned, according to news reports, his resignation letter was thrown on the ground outside the governor's office when government officials refused to accept the letter)

and what exactly was Pedro's crime?
He broke an unwritten law of Naija's DemoCrazy, a deputy shall not covet his oga's position.

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posted by ijebuman  # 2:45 pm (7) comments

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

naija's 'village people' 





There's a funny video doing the rounds of a prank played on a naija scammer who is persuaded to perform (and record) along with his friends 'Y.M.C.A' by the village people

more
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=YMCA+scammer&search=Search

you can check out the back story to the whole scam here

saddest part of it all is the con is still on and the poor sod still has no clue (and actually thinks the emails are from George W Bush)

posted by ijebuman  # 5:24 pm (5) comments

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Anyone still interested?? 

For anyone still interested in naija politics
The current edition of The Economist has the usual post election article on naija
Big men, big fraud and big trouble
http://www.economist.com/world/displaystory.cfm?story_id=9070922

was about to skip through the article when this caught my attention
[snip]
Progress by saxophone
Nigerian politics does not have to be like this. Given a chance, good state governors do emerge. In Cross Rivers, for instance, on the border with Cameroon, Donald Duke has effected an impressive transformation over the past eight years.

In the state capital, Calabar, the streets have no pot-holes. According to the state government, every village is connected to the national grid and everyone has access to clean water. There is almost no litter. Remarkably, instead of the fleet of blacked-out SUVs that normally idle outside governors' offices, ready to whisk the big man a few hundred metres down the road, outside Mr Duke's office stand brand new garbage lorries from Germany.

Moreover, Cross Rivers has no oil wealth. Mr Duke has achieved all this on a fraction of the money available to his neighbours. Instead, he has frozen official salaries, cleverly exploited existing resources and taken on debt. In partnership with private investors, he is also responsible for Tinapa, the largest retail and business development in west Africa. It contains several new giant studios to grab a large slice of the $200m-300m a year “Nollywood” film industry, which churns out, by some estimates, more films than either of its rivals in Los Angeles or Bombay.

The other key to the state's success is Mr Duke's love of the saxophone. Every Sunday evening he performs in his house with his band. And instead of trying to micro-manage his succession, rig the state elections and prepare for endless court battles, when he leaves office at the end of May Mr Duke is going off to America for a music course. It is an unusual example of a politician who is willing to let go.
[snip]

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Re: Obj's CRIBs

It's good to see that Dare Obasanjo has at least acknowledged on his blog that the caption on the 'servant' picture was wrong. I'll cut him a bit of slack and will not make any further comments, as it distracts me from my regular Obj bashing and there's only about 27 days left for that..

meanwhile looks like there's a full blown war going on at Grandiose Parlor ; - )
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Been so long...
for all you lovers of 80s quiet storm (in the uk)
Anita Baker is back in London, she's performing at the Royal Albert Hall on June 26 2007

Her last concert in London was in july 2005 and it was one of the best concerts i had ever attended.
it had to be as i ended up meeting her personally
; - ) see Anita Baker Concert 2005


posted by ijebuman  # 4:03 pm (3) comments

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