Naija DemoCrazy for 'Dummies'

A friend wanted to know about naija's democracy, so i've decided to do a dummies style tongue-in-cheek explanation of democracy naija style.

According to the 1999 constitution (which is sometimes used as a "guide" and is probably used as a door stopper in the presidential villa) Nigeria is a "democracy" and operates a presidential system of government where there's a true separation of powers (i.e Executive, Legislature and the Judiciary)

The Executive
Since the constitution is just a guide, the president doesn't bother reading it and regards himself as the all knowing leader. In naija's DemoCrazy, the president is next to 'God' and the exercise of his power is seen as "God's will".
Anyone challenging his authority is regarded as an enemy of the state.

The Legislature
This arm of government spends most of its time sharing out 'Ghana must go bags' (i.e large bags of money) which is sent by the executive to ensure the legislature rubber stamps all laws. It also ensures the legislature doesn't get any funny ideas (like debating and enacting laws or starting impeachment proceedings)

The Judiciary
This arm of government is always ignored as it tends to take the 1999 constitution seriously.

The Opposition
in politics the opposition is usually an organised political group that serves to offer opposing views to the government. In the naija context, they are regarded as 'enemies of the state' made up of 'disgruntled elements', 'frustrated' politicians, unpaid contractors, ex government officials and anybody who has a bad word to say about the president.

Elections
Naijas don't elect their politicians directly. Instead, the ruling party 'selects' them.
Voter turnout tends to be low but the ruling party always manages to win by a landslide with a result that reflects 100% voter turnout.

for constitutional terms click here

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Breaking the law
Not only are naija politicians bad losers they are also bad winners.
Check out the whole charade going on in Lagos state, three weeks to the end of his term Tinubu has decided to get rid of his deputy - Femi Pedro (who has now resigned, according to news reports, his resignation letter was thrown on the ground outside the governor's office when government officials refused to accept the letter)

and what exactly was Pedro's crime?
He broke an unwritten law of Naija's DemoCrazy, a deputy shall not covet his oga's position.