The online raves and rants of an Ijebu man in London
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Some suggested words to add to the Nigerian vocabulary courtesy of unwords.com and examples of how they can be used in a Nigerian context.
(n.) A license to kill; used in medical terminology when someone makes a mistake.
example: another name for the qualification the current crop of medical students (produced by our under funded teaching hospitals) will get.
(n.) A clueless person.
example: 90% of the Nigerian police force, 95% of our politicians
(v.) To divide a region into small parts much like the Balkans.
example: worst case scenario if project Nigeria fails
(adj.) Bemusing and confusing
example: events happening in Oyo, Anambra, Ekiti and Plateau states
(n.) A method of collectively finding one to blame for a mistake no one is willing to confess to.
example: what Nigerian government officials do whenever a disaster happens (in most cases God is the culprit)
a. (n.) Language spoken by George W. Bush. Words used by an individual that are similar to the style of speech used by George W. Bush.
b. (adj.) Totally incomprehensible. A statement that does not make sense.
example: any statement by IBB and Borishade (ex Aviation minister)
a. (n.) A society in which the most demented members rise to the top.
déjà foo (da-'zhä fü)
(n.) A mistake one has already seen or made once before.
example: will apply to the current crop of politicians who are making the same mistakes that ended the first and second republics
(v.) To set apart as being different and to place hate on at the same time.
example: Nigerians abroad (especially in the UK and US) admired and hated at the same time.
(v.) To remember something incorrectly.
example: selective amnesia, what anyone supporting IBB is suffering from
(acronym) Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome.
example: occurs when the mouth is engaged before the brain, afflicts obj regularly
a. (n.) All talk and no action.
example: methinks this will apply to almost every Nigerian i know lol
God Mob (God mob)
a. (n.) A large group of people who gather in a (usually predetermined) location, pray a brief prayer, give a shout of praise to the Lord, and then quickly disperse. Any group of people who attend a religious service.
example: 99.9999% of Nigerians
(n.) A very basic guess on the solution to something.
(v.) ge(s't?-ma-t'. To estimate by guessing.
example: any official figure relating to Nigeria e.g population of Lagos
(n.) Frequently the opposite to reality. A dimension only spoken of in textbooks and lectures, and yet, while greatly desired, never seems to the case.
example: what every Nigerian hopes for Nigeria
(n.) Entertainment that makes one irritated.
example: most nollywood films
(adj.) Describing something that is both undocumented and unmentionable.
example: Lagos traffic laws, planning laws, environmental laws etc
WMDs (du(b'?l-yü e(m de-s)
(n.pl.) Weapons of Mass Distraction.
example: EFCC, gradually becoming a tool for political blackmail against opponents while obj's cronies are left alone.
(n.) Spontaneous comments that make no sense, have no point, or are completely off the subject.(also known as diarrhoea of the mouth)
example: afflicts the likes of Sunny Okogwu (IBB's in law) who claimed oil belongs to the north
inspired by david dylan's excellent post 'Know your Nigerian Political Dictionary'