ijebuman's diary

The online raves and rants of an Ijebu man in London
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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The things that irritate.. 

The way everyone automatically assumes all black people support Barack Obama

The prevalence of low quality "African stations" on Sky Digital, is it too much to ask for just one good quality station that actually broadcasts in digital? By the time BEN and AIT gets round to broadcasting in HD, the technology will be obsolete..

The way every naija assumes the following;
1. Everyone loves football (i don't hate it, i just find it incredibly boring)
2. Everyone is religious (don't even get me started on this issue..)
3. Everyone is impressed by cars (it's just a thing that gets me from A to B, i don't need prayers and congratulatory messages when i buy a new one. I doubt if anyone will offer prayers if i bought a bike)

The pop ups on Nigeria world, the site is gradually turning into a porn site with all the pop ups and pop unders, the damn site even crashed my pop up killer application.
I know the site has to make money but there are better ways of doing this.

Naijas who give their kids ridiculous names, it's bad enough that we give our kids English names but do we have to give them names like 'Marvellous' ??

People who refer to African ethnic groups as 'tribes', we don't have fucking tribes, we have ethnic groups. No one refers to the English or the Irish as tribes so why should anyone call the Hausas, Yorubas or the Ibos, tribes ??

Naija 'Coconuts', dumb asses who think because they've finally got a British passport they are no longer naijas, behaving as if 'know be naija dem born them', you see them all the time at the Nigerian High Commission, feigning ignorance about everything Naija, some going to the ridiculous extent of getting a visa to visit Naija, instead of using or applying for a Nigerian passport (and yes Naija allows dual nationality, IBB promulgated the decree in 1992)

Working class Brits whining about immigration, if you got off the fucking dole, the Poles won't come here to take 'your job'.

'Yoofs' on the bus, who play music on their mobiles without using their headphones.

The way the media still goes on about Princess Diana, conspiracy or not? who cares?, she is dead. Her kids have moved on, even her ex husband has married the 'horse' he was having an affair with while married to her, why can't everyone else get over it and let the poor woman rest in peace.

The TV licence, yes i pay for it but if the BNP promised to abolish the damn thing, I WILL vote for them..

Comical stories of the week

Catholic Church takes over in Anambra State

It is now illegal to encourage the use of condoms in southeast Nigeria's Anambra State. The state government has also banned the advocacy and distribution of other forms of contraceptives including IUDs (intrauterine device) and any other "un-natural" birth control.

Snakes in A Jail (The new Nollywood version of 'Snakes on a Plane')

THE Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND), yesterday raised alarm over an alleged plot to poison its detained leader, Henry Okah (using snakes)
The specie of snake found in Henry Okah's dungeon has been identified. The one killed today is the most poisonous. It is called 'Gobe da nisa'; meaning "tomorrow is too far" in the Hausa language of northern Nigeria. If the snake bites tonight, the victim must die before the next day.

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posted by ijebuman  # 11:20 am
Haba Ijebuman,

Go easy on the Naija Coconuts, I was a bit confused there - but I suppose you were talking of people born in Nigeria who have acquired a British passport as opposed to those who were born in Britain.

Either way, I did not know that a dual-citizenship law was passed in 1992 - in fact, too much has changed in states and local governments since I finally left in 1990.

I can very well relate to everything you have said that irritates you - does that make you a much less Naija man? (+_+)
lol i think it's the other way round

I was being ironic referring to them as 'naija coconuts' ; - )
I keep saying that there is nothing like Black British. If you aint white, you aint British. There's no black here who hasn't got roots elsewhere so please Nigerians stop being silly.Holding a British passport doesn't make you British, if it did, you won't still be complaining about unfair treatment.
@Akin, you did not know that Nigeria allows dual citizenship? now whose fault is that?
The snake thing, was that a joke?
the snake thing (apart from the title) is not a joke, you can read the full story here http://allafrica.com/stories/200804090250.html
BEN TV is now a shopping channel(i think.
Snakes in a jail? I find it easier to believe that philip killed diana and camilla is a horse!!
totally hilarious dis is what blogs are supposed 2 be like.
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