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Wednesday, January 02, 2008
ijebuman's 2007 awards
Its that time again to look back on the previous year and identify the characters who made their mark on the Nigerian political scene. Here are ijebuman's personal awards to those who made 2007 an interesting year..
The "Forrest Gump" award for the most retarded statement goes to INEC Chairman Maurice Iwu. Iwu described the April 2007 elections (AKA Naija's worst elections ever) as "a success that would be remembered for generations" (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6582891.stm)
No doubt the 'Selection' will be remembered but not as a success.
Iwu also wins the "David Blane" award for creating the 'magical' illusion called the April 2007 elections. Iwu shares this special award with former president - Obasanjo.
The "Mr Bean" award goes to the Attorney general of the federation - Michael Aondoakaa. According to the BBC, Nigeria's attorney-general has blocked efforts to recover millions of dollars looted by former Nigerian officials (especially in the James Ibori case)
Apparently Aondoakaa was not impressed that the brits did not show him the respect he deserves as a SAN (Senior Asshole of Nigeria), as the request for assistance was not personally signed by the home secretary, in a newspaper interview he whined that "A state counsel will send a request to me, not even his Home Secretary, and you want me to sign. No! Are you considering the bigger image of Nigeria?" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7113216.stm)
ijebuman wonders what image this idiot is talking about, would that be our image as one of the most corrupt countries in the world.
Aondoakaa also wins the "Johnnie Cochran" delusion award for services to the destruction of the legal process in Nigeria.
The "Return of the Jedi" award goes to Peter Obi for reclaiming his position as governor of Anambra state. Obi won the 2003 elections but Dr Chris Ngige was declared the winner.
Chris Ngige's victory was later overturned by the Court of Appeal in March 2006 and Obi was sworn in as governor but impeached five months later.
In February 2007 he won again at the court of appeal and was re-instated but then had to leave office at the end of May 2007. Obi returned to the courts again to argue that his term started in 2006, the supreme court of Nigeria agreed.
The force is defintely strong in Obi..
The "MJ (Michael Jackson)" award' goes to Obj, Just like Michael, Obj started well then he turned 'Bad' and 'Dangerous' and now we hope he is History...
The "Irreplaceable (to the left)" award goes to ex speaker of the House of Representatives, Patricia Etteh for thinking she was irreplaceable as speaker.
She thought because she had the support of her Godfather (Obj) she could hang on and weather the storm, unfortunately her fellow honourables did not feel the same way and she was forced to resign at the end of october 2007.
Etteh also wins the Good riddance award.
This year's "I'll do anything to meet a celebrity" award (the "celebrity" in this case is a 'lame duck' American President) goes to our current president, Yawn'Adua for telling George Bush on his recent visit to the white house "This is a moment that I'll never forget in my life" (see when Yardy met George)
defintely a cringeworthy moment..
Yardy also wins the 'Invisible man' award for services to invisibility.
The "Foot in mouth" award goes to a fellow blogger and the son of the former president, Dare Obasanjo for describing some poor sod that works for his dad as a 'servant'.
The resultant furore in the naija blogosphere created a lot of ''bad belle'' for Dare forcing him to restrict access to the pictures (after promising that he wouldn't do it lol)
You can still catch a glimpse of Obj's 'famous servant' here
see last year's ijebuman's 2006 awards
Labels: Ijebuman Awards